Do I have to go back?

So I'm not going to lie to you, living in Iqaluit is tough. Somedays I can barely stand it. So when I left this Christmas, I was pretty happy. I had a great Christmas break, I relaxed in Northern Ontario with Meredith and her family. It was really fun, it was a simpler trip than I'm used to, but it was still worth it.

Still, I had to come back after two weeks, it hardly seems fair. I had to leave Meredith at the airport once again. I hate doing that. Over Christmas I got the Time Traveller's Wife Which is a book about a man who travels through time against his will and the woman he loves who has to stay behind, I just started reading it, the story is a bit strange, but it's actually a good book so far. I've really been able to relate to it.

Being in Wawa gave me a sense of nostalgia. I had been there once before in the summer of 2002. I was passing by during a bus trip from Kelowna, BC to Cheyenne, Wyoming up to Winnipeg then to Ottawa. It was quite the trip, there were no specific plans, I just chose some checkpoints and some vague dates and improvised the rest. Barring the upper respiratory infection I got in Cheyenne that kept me bedredden in a cheap motel for a few days, it was a great trip. I love that type of freedom. Just me and the world. No work, no routine, doing whatever I please, on my own time. I can't really explain properly what exactly travelling means to me, it's my life, it's what I know best. Having a secure job definitely has it's perks, but it does make me feel kind of trapped and I don't like that. How can I be happy sitting in my office day in day out when a memory of a thousand places I've been and would like to be flashes into my head everytime I close my eyes?

I miss the excitement and anticipation of the flight to somewhere completely unknown to me. Imagining what it's going to be like, how the people will be, how I'll dress for the weather. I've been to some far off corners of the globe already and my wanderlust is still not satisfied. Not too many people like flying commercially anymore and for good reason really, but I actually feel comfortable in planes for long stretches. I took my longest flight in one sitting this past summer. Beijing to Toronto direct. 20 hours baby. One hour of which was spent sitting on the tarmac because the runway on which we were supposed to take off from needed repairs. I don't mind planes and airports that much. I once spent 4 days in the Vaanta International airport in Helsinki thanks to a misplaced passport and lack of money. I was 17, it was an adventure I'll never forget. It's these types of adventures that I want to live again. Sure, being a responsible citizen has been ok, but my place is over the horizon.

I'll figure out a way to get out there again.... I think my inner gypsy is going to wake up this spring...